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I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki PDF Download


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I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokpokki by Baek Se-hee Pdf Download

Details of I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokpokki by Baek Se-hee Book

  • Book Name: I Want to Die But I Want to Eat Tteokpokki
  • Authors: Baek Se-hee
  • Pages: 189
  • Genre: Self Help, Nonfiction
  • Publish Date: Jun 23, 2022
  • Language: English
Book Review:

I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki this book is offer you a gateway into the mind of a depressed person if you don't have depression yourself and if you do if you struggle with mental illness with depression anxiety this is an incredibly empathetic book 

We begin with an introduction that lays out the purpose of this book and i'm just going to read out a short paragraph from that introduction to give you an idea of what bek say he is trying to do here and she succeeds by the way 

I wonder about others like me who seem totally fine on the outside but are rotting on the inside where the rot is this vague state of being not fine and not devastated at the same time the world tends to focus too much on the very bright or the very dark many of my own friends find my type of depression baffling but what is an acceptable form of depression is depression itself something that can ever be fully understood in the end my hope is for people to read 

This book and think i wasn't the only person who felt like this or i see now that people live with this so as i said this is for people who do not struggle with depression who want to understand it better and it's also for people who like myself do struggle with depression and want to feel understood and you will with 

This book you absolutely will feel understood you will feel like you are part of a community a sisterhood of people who feel the way that you often do and the way that she often does as for the contents of this book it's absolutely fascinating i've never read anything like it apart from the introduction the epilogue and the appendix 

The majority of this book is a transcript of several weeks worth of therapy that begse goes to it is just a transcript she went to see a therapist she asked permission to record the therapy sessions and then she turned those recordings into a transcript that became this book 

So effectively it's free therapy for you if you relate to what she's talking about her personal feelings and experiences and her particular type of depression now again in the introduction she explains her form of depression as dysthymia or a persistent depressive disorder a state of constant light depression 

I think that's a very interesting thing i don't know what kind of depression i have i find that my life is mostly ruled by anxiety and occasionally a trigger will come into my life that will cause depression to rise to the surface 

I typically don't suffer with depression on a day-to-day basis i suffer with bouts of it as reactions to things whereas this author she has depression kind of low level all of the time but nonetheless i found myself relating so strongly to very specific experiences and feelings here in this book 

I'm going to mention the ones that i personally relate to because she had the confidence to lay out all of her feelings her personal failings her paranoias all of her deepest darkest emotional secrets and i feel like the least i can do is relate to some of them in my review so for example there's a moment on page 60 

Where she's chatting with her psychiatrist and she admits to her state of love and how her self-worth is tied to other people's affection for her and i related so strongly to this that i was reading it on a train 

I actually slammed the book down in my lap and went oh and if anyone who's interested in dating me ever watches this it's not gonna bode well for me oh well down the rabbit hole she says i like to be by myself a lot but only under one condition i must have someone who loves me someone must want to know 

How i am every day for me to be happy alone when i was single for six months i had a devastating moment when i woke up one morning and realized that no one was looking out for me or loving me i still think about that moment from time to time and 

Wow i relate to that i've been feeling very very lonely recently i wake up and realize i am alone and uh maybe no one is thinking about me in that moment and i feel weighed down by depression anxiety and loneliness is awful and i hugely hugely related to that 

It made me feel kind of pathetic we all need love we all need to love ourselves and feel loved by other people and we all enjoy loving other people all of that is true for i think all of us or at least most of us 

But sometimes my feelings are heightened in that regard and clearly so are hers i think for anyone out there who reads this book whether you suffer with depression or anxiety or you don't 

It's going to be very interesting what moments you relate to because this is separated out into chapters and those chapters are kind of about specific feelings and experiences it's not session by session by session 

But it's more transcripts of specific moments almost like vignettes where there is a feeling or experience that she has and she lays it out in about a page or two and describes that feeling describes that aspect to her personality or her mental state and then 

You get a transcript from her talking to her psychiatrist addressing that particular aspect of her personality her mental state her feelings etc we get to know about her job and her personal relationships mostly with her friends or partners or ex-partners 

We learn a lot about her and she's just a person and that's actually addressed at the end by a kind of two or three page note by the psychiatrist after the book was published the psychiatrist read it and then we get a little letter from the psychiatrist about what it was like to read it 

What it was like to be involved in this and one of the things the psychiatrist says is that peg say he is just a person who is incomplete talking to another person who is incomplete because that's the state of humanity that's what we are and she says i actually don't know 

If it's a she i picture the psychiatrist as a she but at no point are they actually gendered but the psychiatrist says it just so happens that one of the people who's doing the talking and is incomplete is also a psychiatrist and i think that's absolutely brilliant because people are people doctors are people psychiatrists are people teachers are people 

Everyone is a person and that means that we all come with the baggage that people come with this feels like a very experimental book there aren't books like this out there it's not really the kind of thing you often read and in that way it's not going to be for everyone 

but it very much was for me and the bits that i related to most strongly the bits that i kind of felt attacked by are the bits that i feel like i need to address it almost felt like it gave me fuel for my own therapy sessions or at least my own self-reflection there are moments where you think oh okay yeah this is describing me she's getting help for it 

She's getting therapy maybe i should do the same maybe i need to think about these things in my life as well and that's so valuable i said that word weird didn't i value a valuable valuable valuable she also mentions getting medication as well it doesn't say what medication 

She's on although i think the psychiatrist uses the word tranquilizer and i don't entirely know what that means i think it would be very very interesting for someone who doesn't identify with any particular mental illness disorder to read this relate to it and go oh maybe i should go to therapy some people think they're fine and still benefit from therapy 

I think we should all get therapy because there are always things we don't know about ourselves could learn about ourselves because the more you know yourself the better you can be and that is just kindness to yourself and kindness to the people around you and this book is great for that this is basically a matt haig book but good 

I said that i don't like matt haig but i like this and once again i want to die but i want to eat top pocky is the best title ever and it's very relatable there are days where i wake up and i just don't understand what life is for and even on those days i think yeah but i could still eat like a donut right.